Rape and Visualization: My Safe Place

 58. RAPE AND VISUALIZATION: MY SAFE PLACE

Hello and welcome back to Raped 25 Years. At this time, I invite you to join me on a short walk in my journey of healing from sexual trauma. Don’t forget to stay to the end so you can enjoy my gem of positivity.

In therapy, the tool of visualization is often used as a grounding technique. It helps us  to unhook from flashbacks, and bring us back from utter terror. The visualization I’m talking about here is called my safe place, or sometimes, my happy place. Let me share with you the visualization of my own safe place.

When I need to calm myself down, I often go to “Donaldo” in my mind, which was a farm I once lived on. I visually escape from the abhorrent abuse from work, and the unspeakable cruelty of the man I refer to as Alex. Even now, I can still picture the farm so clearly. The sights, the sounds, and the smells of the place. Whenever a counsellor says to envision a safe place in my mind, I automatically go to “Donaldo”.

I usually go to the same late afternoon on “Donaldo”. I’ve just come back from the mile and a quarter (2 km) walk to the mailing drop off point for the four farms in the cluster. It is so beautiful. The grass is lovely and green. There is a light breeze winding its way through the leaves on the trees around the farm houses. Even in my visualization, I can hear the leaves swaying about. I can hear the cows being milked down the road.

The air smells so fresh and clean to me. I have my two bottle lambs with me. I stop to feed Scout, the farm dog. I can picture him still. I can hear the chickens in the background. 

In reality, Donaldo no longer exists as I still picture it in my mind. However, that doesn’t matter and that’s not the point of the exercise. For me, the image of that farm is not only clear, but safe too. So in a stressful situation, I can stop, and just visit with my safe place. I might only “stay” a few minutes, but it’s enough of a grounding. And when I “come back” from this happy place, it’s given me the chance to catch my breath and cope with the issue I’m facing.

Do you have a safe, or happy, place, too? If not a real experience, fantasies work just as well. The more you attempt this exercise, the closer you come to achieving this visualization technique’s goal. Then you, just like me, will be on your journey of healing.

This time, the gem of positivity is a quote attributed to Steven Bochco:

“Imagery is like music”.

I have found this to be the case. Having the visualization tool of my safe place, it now helps in the flow of my life, just like music would. Yes, there are ups and downs still in my life that I come up against. But my safe place gives me a chance to stop, take a breath, and then continue to dance with whatever the music of my life. And you can do that too.

Thank you for joining me on this short walk in my journey of healing. Don’t forget to leave a comment on how your visualized safe place is helping you. And until next time, just breathe and believe.

With love and care, Ruby