Sexual Harassment

 9. SEXUAL HARASSMENT 

Hello and welcome. Come with me as I share my life as a sexual assault survivor. Don’t forget to stay to the end to enjoy my gem of positivity.

According to Rape Crisis England and Wales, sexual trauma covers: rape, stealthing, sexual assault, assault by penetration, child sexual abuse, female genital mutilation (FGM), sexual harassment, spiking, indecent exposure (flashing), and cyber flashing. There are possibly other types of sexual trauma, but that was just a quick list I found.

Unfortunately, I have been on the receiving end workplace harassment , which included sexual harassment. And it was when I had found what I thought was my dream job. It lasted for two years, until I finally realised the men weren’t going to stop, and in fact, their actions were escalating. It was either I leave or I die. It was as simple as that.

The men didn’t stop at just talking crudely and the odd grope. It became rape, every single day, often as a group. They penetrated my vagina with objects, and it was this that was the cause of the miscarriage of my last pregnancy. They would hold my mouth open and put their cocks in my mouth. They raped me anally. They also hit me, pushed me out of moving vehicles, and even, I’m sad to say, urinated on me.

 It wasn’t just the “common” workers like me; in my memory there were three managers as well. As I say, in my memory. Those two years were the worst of my life, but I don’t have access to all the memories. What I do remember is bad enough, thank you very much. 

You don’t have to have had it quite that much. Any is too much. And it’s not just girls and women who are targeted. Boys and men can be singled out too. Workplace harassment and sexual harassment is not to be tolerated. It can ruin lives, and not only the lives of the recipients. Unfortunately, in many cases, the recipient feels that the only way for it to stop is to end their own life. Then the family and close friends are irrevocably injured too.

I didn’t speak up until after I left that “dream” job. It had turned out to be my worst nightmare. I still have panic attacks around men I don’t know, although I also panic in family gatherings too. I have lost my sense of safety. There are many days when I can’t even leave my bedroom, let alone the house. It has taken me decades to try to build my life again. However, I still can’t hold a job. It’s just beyond me now.

I would not wish what I’ve been through on my worst enemy. Nobody deserves any sort of harassment at work. What makes it worse, in my eyes anyway, is that when confronted the perpetrators will more often than not say, “Oh but it was just a bit of fun.” No. Not fun. It’s never fun to be on the receiving end.

If you, whether male or female, are being sexually harassed, don’t put up with it like I did. You deserve better than that. If in the workplace, speak out. Tell your boss. Tell your boss’s boss. Keep going up the chain of command until someone listens. You may still decide to leave the situation in which you are being harassed, but it helps to make things safer for everyone else. Especially those that come after you.

Today’s gem is an affirmation which I’m only now starting to believe. Just three words:

I Am Enough

You are enough to deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. You are enough to deserve equal treatment. Just plain you are enough. Not less than. Not greater than. But whatever your walk in life, you are enough.

Thank you for taking this short walk with me. I hope it empowers even one of you in a situation of harassment to speak out. Leave a comment to tell us what empowers you. Until next time, just breathe and believe.

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