Rape and Accepting Help

 72. RAPE AND ACCEPTING HELP 

Hello and welcome back to Raped 25 Years. At this time I invite you to join me on a short walk in my journey of healing from the trauma of sexual abuse and sexual assault. Don’t forget to stay to the end so that you can enjoy my gem of positivity.

One of the challenges I have faced in my journey of healing, is that of getting help. At first it was because I didn’t know there was any help to be had. Not for everything I’ve been through. I thought I had to face my past on my own, isolated and alone.

Now that I know there is help out there, now it’s accepting that help which has been my biggest problem. For me to accept help has seemed like such a failure on my part. So accepting that I have needed help was, and to some degree still is, a personal battle of wills for me. I have never liked to admit that all is not going well. In fact, I have prided myself in not needing any help to cope and be able to move on with my life.

There are people who can help themselves and move on in a healthy manner. I am genuinely pleased for those people. However I find that for myself, I haven’t simply moved on with my life. So I do what I promised to never do after my sexual assaults. I have had to rely and trust other people. I have had to accept help. 

In the past when I have tried to reach out for help, I didn’t get the help I needed. It compounded my feelings of worthlessness and loneliness.

I have had to accept that I need help to move on from the past. Help to live the life that I deserve. The life I should have had in the first place. It has taken me courage to survive and still be here today. But it’s taken all the strength I have within me, to accept the fact of needing help to truly heal.

What about you? Are you like me? Admitting that you need help to move on and actually accepting that help, will be one of the strongest decisions you can make. This is of great importance in moving forward. I know only too well that admitting I need help and actually accepting help are two entirely different processes. But when you do finally admit you need help, and accept that help, you will find yourself where I am. You will be on your own journey of healing.

This time the gem of positivity is a quote attributed to Kiera Cass:

“Accepting help is its own kind of strength”.

And this is true. Once I realised that it was a strength to accept help, rather than the weakness I had always thought it was, I found that I was able to start healing. Yes, I’ve had the courage to survive my traumatic past. However it takes all my strength to accept the help I need to move on. And that’s proof I am healing. Don’t you want that proof too?

Thank you for joining me on this short walk in my journey of healing. Don’t forget to leave a comment on what is one way, big or small, that you can do to show that you’re strong enough to accept help. And until next time, just breathe and believe.

With love and care, Ruby.