Rape: A Win

 12. RAPE: A WIN

Hello and welcome back. Please join me for a walk through my life as a sexual assault survivor. I invite you to stay to the end, in order to enjoy my gem of positivity.

In the last couple of months, I have had an incredible win in my journey to heal. If at first you hear it, you may not think it much. So I will fill you in on my win’s importance.

When I was merely three years old, I was raped by a family friend, which I only knew as Uncle. Let me make it clear, however, that this man was in no way an actual relative to me. I was at a BBQ with my siblings at this pedophile house. We were to have a sleepover with all the other children.

Way back then, I was lactose intolerant, and very much so. It caused vomiting. The man I know of as Uncle, knew of this. And yet he bribed me, an impressionable three year old, with the holy grail — an ice cream cone from a large Neapolitan ice cream tub. But he only gave me the pink part.

Back in those days, pink actually tasted like strawberries. Ahh, gone are the days. Okay, so I’m not as old as that sounds. The upshot was, I was sick in the middle of the night, and separated from the other children. The man Uncle, waited for his wife to go to sleep, snuck into my room, and raped me.

Ever since then, I have never eaten the pink part of Neapolitan ice cream. Nor strawberry flavoured products. In fact, for a number of years, I developed what seemed to be an allergy to strawberries. But this was actually a psychological allergy, not a true allergy.

Please don’t misunderstand me. There are many people who have allergies. Real allergies. Life threatening allergies. But my allergy to strawberries was, to be blunt, all in my head. I didn’t even realise this until I started getting my memories back. I can now eat real strawberries, and strawberry flavoured products.

But back to my win. On May 1 2025, I ate Neapolitan ice cream, pink and all. Do you still think it not much of an achievement? But just think. It was the first time in 43 years, I had let pink ice cream from a Neapolitan ice cream pass my lips. Even better, I didn’t throw it up. So now you may understand the magnitude of this win of mine.

Wins come in all shapes and sizes. What is big to one person in their journey of healing may seem such a small insignificant thing to the other people you share your win with. But despite what they may think, if you think it a win, then it’s worth celebrating. Dr H taught me this. I tried to down play this win of mine, even pass it off as nothing. Dr H took me to task, to remind me that this win of mine, was well and truly a win worth celebrating.

The gem I have chosen is a quote many know, attributed to Robert H. Schuller:

Tough times don’t last; tough people do.

Despite the tough times I have been through, I’m tougher. Because I am still here, fighting hard for my life and dreams. So any win is one step in the right direction, and proves just how tough I am.

How do you celebrate the wins in your journey? Please feel empowered to share this with others in the comments. You may just give someone else the encouragement to celebrate their own wins, no matter how insignificant you, or others may think them. A win in any way, shape or form, is still a win.

Thank you for sharing this short walk with me. And thank you for celebrating my win with me. Until next time, just breathe and believe.